Letters of a Family

To this day, there’s something special about a handwritten letter, whether it’s writing or receiving one.  Every moment, from when you hear the mail truck down the street, which signals the delivery of the letter that you’ve anxiously awaited, to hurriedly opening the letter—ripping the envelope open— and finally seeing what information and thoughts the letter brought.  Then there’s the handwriting— whether it’s the dazzling cursive or shakily printed letters that show the progress of learning to write and spell—there’s a lot more than just the written words in the letter. Accompanying the letter you can find a child’s crayon-drawn pictures of a person standing next to a house on a sunny day, with a flower just as big, or you can find the carefully chosen photographs that fall out from between the letter’s pages.

I come from a letter-writing family; before the dawn of the computer age and e-mail, it was an alternative way to share moments with friends and loved ones.  The letters were a way for my sister and I to write about our week spent toasting marshmallows and playing in the lake at camp.  It was a way to try and keep touch with friends when we moved to another state; to try and remind ourselves no matter where we moved to, we would honor an eternal friendship made through the secret pact of crossing our hearts.

Letters were how my mom, sister, and I wrote about our day when my dad was out on naval deployments and couldn’t be with us. We learned through his letters that he missed us just as much, if not more than we missed him. Even now, in 2013, letters sometimes trump the computers and 21^st century technology in times when my family could only communicate by writing to my sister, Ashliegh, during her Air Force boot-camp.

They are artifacts and memories of intimate conversations between two people—there are events, feelings, secret desires, and even uncertainty of unknowns.

Happy reading,

Krystina

Understanding Technology Concerning Cyberbullying

This clip, which went viral on the internet a few months ago, was shared this in my social media class yesterday, when we were discussing cyberbullying. It's pretty difficult watching a group of 25+year olds get so choked up over something that we can proactively help to diminish. As a warning, it has some trigger material concerning suicide and bullying.

I too followed the Amanda Todd case last year, but not just for the interest in the video and backstory. One of my brothers was bullied in high school, much the same way she was, "jokes and memes" included. 

I'll never forget the punch to my stomach I got when I found out emotional cyberbullying had created physical illness for my brother.  While teaching at the same school my brothers attended, one time one of my brothers specifically asked me to come down to the nurse's office instead of the school calling his parents, because he felt I might have a different perspective.  While I may have diffused the situation a bit by letting it sink in during the rest of the school day, before informing my parents, my reaction and emotional side were very similar to theirs.

Sitting with me in my classroom during my plan period and he broke down.  He said he's been teased, threatened, mocked, even a few physical punches to the head--with most of the bullying done online.  When I asked what they were saying, or if he knew why they were doing it, he said yes.  Worse, some of the teachers were aware but felt the situation might diffuse itself, instead of following school handbook protocol.  These kids, most of them who have been in his classes since kindergarten, found out he had a brain tumor.  They thought saying online things like "maybe if he gets stabbed in the head it'll go away" "just punch the tumor out of his face" or "thank God he'll die early and we won't have to see that big head of his" was funny.  You can imagine the horror and sadness I felt; think of how my brother, a high schooler dealing with a severe medical issue, felt.

My brother has a facebook and twitter account, which my mom has access to, as do I, and we try to keep a "watchful eye" on the accounts.  What upset me the most was that my parents and I didn't catch even a whiff of the bullying.  We monitor his social media, I teach at his school, I even teach and tutor some of the students who were bullying!  The problem with online social media is the rapidness things can be done or changed and accountability. Comments/messages can be posted in mere seconds and then "deleted" just as quickly.  Unless you're hovering over your child while using the computer (which would be similar to following them everywhere when they're playing outside), you can't catch it all.

While I'll concede, the school attempted to take action towards the offenders, the damage was already done--he was bullied. 

Examples such as Amanda Todd and my brother show that we're at a new stage in technology where we need to not only learn how to use it, but understand and demonstrate what it's capable of and educating anyone who uses it, along with preventative measures we can take--whether it's filtering, monitoring, or just even talking to people and informing.

"Home"

My dad was in the Navy, so growing up "home" was a new house every year or two, strung together with a new bedroom and new school.  My freshman year of college, I fell in love with what I thought was a deep and profound statement (aka described exactly how I was feeling transitioning into college) about "home" from a quote Andrew (Zach Braff) describes to Sam (Natalie Portman) in the movie Garden State:

"You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone." [...] "You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place." 

Is home where you physically live?

Is it where you feel you belong?

Is it just a memory, or a feeling of some sort?

Almost 25 years later, I still slightly confuse myself when I tell someone "I'm at home" or "I'm going home."  Most believe I'm referring to the apartment I now live in, and most times, I am, but there are the glimpses of my family home that flutter across as I say the word "home".

What do you consider "home?"

Out of the Shadows--Into the Streets

There's an event occurring on Sunday, March 10 that I feel very strongly about, so I thought I'd share it with you. It's called "Out of the Shadows--Into the Streets" and is a march for undocumented immigrants.  Here's an example of a flier that you may or may not have seen, as most are posted in Chicago.

“Out of the Shadows and Into the Streets” occurs for the 4^th year on March 10, 2013 and is a rally for undocumented immigrants to just join in the rally by walking in the streets and giving the attitude that “we are here, we are undocumented, we are unafraid, and we are unstoppable.”  Every year, the national "Coming Out of the Shadows--Into the Streets" day helps highlight the unheard stories in our immigrant communities, and put a spotlight on the stories of the people who this immigration system deems "illegal" and deportable.  

Barriers for undocumented immigrants primarily lay with the fact and fear that these people are just that: undocumented immigrants and can be deported if they announce their illegal status.  This leads to a lack of awareness of where to go for security and aid.  An example is found here, but I want to focus particularly on this excerpt from HuffPo:

Gang of 8 Senate Blueprint Provides No Real Pathway to Citizenship


Prerna Lal, Huffington Post

” …the blueprint glosses over the most punitive and problematic parts of the immigration system. The Senate plan fails to address the growing problem of long-term lawful permanent residents who are subject to deportation for minor crimes. Moreover, the blueprint does not modify the prolonged mandatory detention of non-citizens, which makes the immigration system must more punitive than the criminal justice system. The blueprint also fails to address Secure Communities – a misnomer of a policy that subjects immigrants to detention and deportation pre-conviction, violating the fundamental American concept of due process. Finally, the omission of legislation to resolve the issue of 40,000 same-sex binational couples who are forced to live apart, altogether, has much of the immigrant and LGBT communities up in arms.”

While Lal has some interesting points to the avoidance of obtaining citizenship, I like to think of this march as undocumented immigrants steps towards becoming a citizen, or if not the adults, then at least with the children.

Undocumented youth have very few organizations to utilize to help seek and advance their rights.  In addition, there is a need for an organization to serve as the “front door” for undocumented immigrants to go to when they need social service referrals, but they are afraid or unaware to go for help. 

IYJL-Chicago is an aid and provides resources, and it is my hope it will continue to help and provide an outreach to the undocumented immigrants through educational workshops, legal aid, social services, and an array of other intra-community resources such as Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) and the American Dream Act. When undocumented immigrants “come out” (which they're able to do at the march on March 10) and take risks, they help strategize and create stories to influence the immigration debate.

Fear can be dissolved by creating awareness. Knowing this, I encourage you to either join in, watch from the sidelines, or anywhere you're out of the shadows and participate in the "Out of the Shadows--Into the Streets" march!